Fergie’s Bizarre Kamikaze-On-A-Budget Risks ‘Manchester’ United’s Financial Future

Article By Real Mancs Are Blue 

Alexander ‘Baconface’ Ferguson, renowned whiskey connoisseur and shameless hypocrite is risking ‘Manchester’ United’s financial future with a bizarre and risky transfer strategy, one which has seemingly backfired in a most embarrassing manner.

 
We all know of the unfortunate and well documented financial mire that Stretford’s finest are in (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10237268) and how Manchester City’s’ increased spending has left Alexander with a face like a bulldog licking piss of a thistle. He recently, and with absolutely no sense of irony, accused gods own club of ‘Kamikaze spending’ when discussing their purchasing of England’s finest prospects, Champions league and World cup winners and internationally renowned talent. It seems odd then, that he has spent what little pocket money he’s been given on an unknown Portuguese fellow called ‘Bebe’. ‘Bebe’ cost £7.5 million, around 7/8ths of his transfer budget. This is a chap that Alexander confesses to have never seen play.
 
Fair enough, you may think, Alexander knows what he is doing, snapping up the best youth albeit at steep prices, the real big names have continually snubbed the downtrodden rags and even average players are out of the range of his limited funds, and it’s a shrewd move by the man with a face like a roofer’s nailbag. Sadly, it seems that this isn’t the case. The Guardian have reported on good authority that Bebe is a lemon. Poor ball control and passing skills meant he couldn’t even find a place in the reserve team that played their heart out to narrowly beat Manchester City’s’ fourth string.
 
Given the constraints previously mentioned there is growing concern around parts of southern England that Alexander is putting the very fabric of the club at risk with what is seen as ‘strange and desperate signings’. One United fan I spoke to earlier simply said;
 
”I really fear for my club, if this carries on we are considering a green and yellow style campaign for Fergie, parts of Lambeth will be awash with Black scarves to signify our dismay. Some of us are even talking about cancelling our Sky accounts.”
 
What do you make of this frivolous spending by Alexander? Where will end?
 
As the blue moon rises one can only worry that the man simply known as ‘Whiskey nose’ in Manchester is losing his grip on his club, and his marbles.