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This Is How It Feels To Be Stretford – Part 1

Article by Real Mancs Are Blue

Welcome to part 1 of ‘This is how it feels to be Stretford’, a look at Manchester’s neighbours and their decline into mediocrity. In part one we look at the armchair fans and how their perception and expectation of their mighty club is shifting.
Stretford Red Sox are a club in trouble. Their current fourth place position flatters to deceive, their bank balance is critical, season tickets are unsold and their ‘Star’ player, Wayne ‘Once a blue always a blue’ is itching for a move. They are a team of aged quality players, overrated ‘stars’ such as Rooney and poor youth players. The number of goals they have conceded already this season is testament to their lack of quality throughout.
Berbaflop, perhaps one of the most mocked transfers in recent memory has become a talisman for the self proclaimed ‘biggest club in the world’. He has had one good game, two average ones and a handful of invisible ones this season and the Stretford fans were out in the street doing the Lambeth walk. To myself and others looking down on the Red Sox ‘this shows how the ‘fans’ are settling for second best.
Recently I ventured to the red side of ‘Newsnow’ following another draw for the Sox. I wanted to gauge the reaction of the Armchairs, the supposed fans who write Stretford blogs that appear moments after a match has finished. I happened upon a site named ‘Trulyreds’ which had the hilarious article ‘Draw at Sunderland is a point gained NOT two lost’, I thought it was going to be some kind of ironic statement but no, it was a deadly serious article by a young ‘fan’ who thinks the Sox are doing well this season picking up a single point against possible relegation fodder. My heart sank a little as I pictured kids across Asia and Ireland tearing Ryan Giggs quorn burger posters off their walls, weeping onto their ‘Stretford United’ water bottles. Is this truly how the ‘fans’ see the once mighty Sox? Is the fight for fourth going to be enough to keep these trophy hungry little fellas happy? Only time will tell.
Then there is the unsold season tickets. For as long as we can remember, the Sox have prided themselves on having an alleged ‘ten year waiting list’ for the privilege of sitting outside Manchester on a red plastic seat watching a load of cloggers kick the shit out of the opposition. Now it seems they cant fill the mighty theatre of debt, not the kind of news Mr Glazer will wanting to be hearing given the current mire the clubs finances are in. Still, that’s a story for another time.
In part two we will look at the debt of the club and what happens if they don’t qualify for the Champions league. I will be talking with ‘Cockney Dave’, a Sox fan since 92′ on why he wont be renewing his Sky Sports subscription if they don’t and discussing what colour scarf he will be sporting next season.
Part three will be focusing on the ‘new bitters’ tag line the rags have been given and how their pitiful attempts at trying to laugh at a team that is on the rise has embarrassed their legions of fans, we will take a look at ‘Republik of Mancunia’. A comedy site written by a City fan/Satirical genius.
Until then, chin up boys, it might never happen 🙂



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